Saving Face: Columbus Blue Jackets

We all have players on our favourite team that we value, ones that we wouldn't give up for anything. But they didn't all start out that way, in fact many "Franchise" players weren't even drafted by the team that now finds them so valuable. Some are on their second team, some are on their fourth, but all of them have become extremely valuable hockey players. This series is intended to allow us to look closely at these so called "Faces of the Franchise" because sometimes stars are easy to see, sometimes it takes years to find diamonds in the rough, and sometimes you don't know what you got till it's gone.

Richard Allen “R.J.” Umberger Jr. – Columbus Blue Jackets

Is this the Dunk Tank?

Welp, that’s a dumb name.

I wish I could be writing about Rick Nash, but the Blue Jackets traded him away to the New York Rangers for two players who are always injured (maybe dead? Zombies are accident prone) and a prospect who really really hates Calgary. So I have to write about RJ Hamburger.

Umberger was actually drafted by the Vancouver Canucks, but after failing to agree on a contract with then GM Brian Burke (what’s this? Brian Burke being stubborn about contracts?) RJ sat out the ENTIRE 2003-2004 NHL hockey season. Which is dumb, because apparently the two sides were just $100,000 dollars apart and you know what is more expensive than losing $100,000 dollars? Losing an entire season’s worth of salary. RJ was then traded to the New York Rangers for Martin Rucinsky, THEN refused to sign with the Rangers, and finally signed with the Philadelphia Flyers in June of 2004.  He played 3 seasons with the Flyers and was then traded to Columbus for a couple of draft picks. I know it seems like Umberger is basically the opposite of a face of the franchise considering he was owned by 4 teams in 4 years but bear with me here. Plus, who else on Columbus is there to talk about.

Let’s look at the STATS!

RJ's bobblehead's head is fused to its body because RJ

 would never nod in agreement to anything.

2004-2005: Umberger produced 65 points in 80 games for the Flyers minor league affiliate, the Philadelphia Phantoms, and won a Calder Cup. Which is named after this guy, wait, scratch that, this guy.

2005-2006: RJ was called up to the Flyers after putting up 10 points in 8 games with the Phantoms. And went on to score 20 goals and 38 points in 73 games.

I promise you that's RJ Umberger

2006-2007: Umberger struggles under his new 2 year contract, producing only 28 points in 81 games, but it could have been worse, he almost died. I’m actually pretty sure a ghost has entered his body and now controls him. Have mercy on me, O Hanaka of the Toilet!

2007-2008: RJ bounces back well, posting 50 points in 74 games and is rewarded with being dealt for to Columbus for their 1^st and 3^rd round picks in the 2008 NHL Entry Draft. Hope you like domesticated tomatoes RJ!

Yes, let the hate flow through you

2008-2009: The highest goal total of his career (26) helps RJ and the Blue Jackets to their first and only playoff appearance. It doesn’t end well for RJ. That smacked the ghost right out of him. Goodbye, Hanako, hello Banquo (Out, Damn’d Spot!). Now I know why they call RJ a “possession” player.

2009-2010: RJ continues being just a great guy, a-plus human being, mocking the Capitals and the Eastern Conference in general following a bad loss to the Caps. Hey at least he’s probably nice and warm from all the bridges he’s burned.

What kind of monster would hug Brett Lebda?

2010-2011: Umberger puts up 57 points in 82 games and continues his harassment of the world, complaining about St Louis playersplaying soccer near the Blue Jackets’ dressing room (Get Off My Lawn!) and being pretty negative about the direction Columbus is headed.

2011-2012: Umberger signs a new contract where his cap hit is 4.6 million for 5 years. The guy is basically guaranteed to put up 20 goals and 50 points but lets look at other players with the same cap hit. David Backes, Max Pacioretty, Andrew Ladd, Teddy Purcell. And most of them got their contract without complaining about how much their team sucked.

Coach says I don't gotta wear a helmet up here, heh

2012-2013: RJ volunteers as an assistant coach at his former University OSU. “They can relate because I am a player”, that’s beautiful RJ, very intuitive. When hockey resumes he joins a Blue Jackets team that seems to find new life under new GM Jarmo Kekalainen, but Umberger produces just 8 goals in 48 games.

Boy the sun is bright!

Well this was fun. The 2013-2014 season will be a very interesting season for the Columbus Blue Jackets as they try and prove that their quasi success of last season wasn’t just a flash in the pan. However, if Columbus finds itself struggling early, R.J. Umberger could find himself traded. In all likelihood it'll be to the Rangers or the Flyers, who seem to think that Columbus is the only other team that exists.

Come on back tomorrow as we discuss the Dallas Stars and their famous Benn Brothers! Now featuring Tyler Seguin, the Garbage King.

Saving Face: Colorado Avalanche

There may be some of you who are saying "Why did you reboot this blog? Is it because you want to blog for Canucks Army?" and to those of you asking those questions I say, "Who are you? How'd you get in here? Get out of my office!"

So here we go for round 2, or part 7, of my award-winning series on NHL Faces of the Franchise, thanks for joining me.

Saving Face: Colorado Avalanche

We all have players on our favourite team that we value, ones that we wouldn't give up for anything. But they didn't all start out that way, in fact many "Franchise" players weren't even drafted by the team that now finds them so valuable. Some are on their second team, some are on their fourth, but all of them have become extremely valuable hockey players. This series is intended to allow us to look closely at these so called "Faces of the Franchise" because sometimes stars are easy to see, sometimes it takes years to find diamonds in the rough, and sometimes you don't know what you got till it's gone.

Nathan Mackinnn....... syke

Paul Stastny - Colorado Avalanche

Could he fit a silly straw in there?

I know some of think I should have picked Matt Duchene, but this isn't a feature on Trout Fishing or maybe Gabriel Landeskog, but this isn't a feature on Swedish Infants.

So you, and I, AND the Avalanche are stuck with Paul Stastny.

Paul Stastny is the son of Peter Stastny, who is his father, who, along with his wife, produced Paul, their son, in Quebec City, Quebec, Canada. This will be important later. Peter Stastny was born in Czechoslovakia and played in the NHL would go down as one of the best Quebec Nordiques players ever to put on the Fleur De Lis. Peter also played internationally for Czechoslovaki, Canada, and just plain old Slovakia. Paul was having none of that. Despite being born in Canada, Paul plays interntionally for the US team, including the most recent World Championships where he put up a ridiculous 15 points in 10 games. Peter Stastny might also go down in history as the dad who hated his son's team the most. Now let's focus more on Paul.

Nope, not explaining the Golden Cup

Paul was drafted 44th overall by the Colorado Avalanche in the 2005 NHL Entry Draft, presumably because the Blackhawks had just picked up NHL star and definitely not terrible player, Michael Blunden. Stastny finished college hockey at the University of Denver (Denver) in the spring of 2006 and joined the Avalanche the following year.

"Boy, I'm just excited to be here Joe!" 

"Give me 6 years Paul and I will literally own you."

2006-2007: Stastny put up 79 points in 82 games as rookie, including a stretch where he had points in 20 consecutive games, setting the rookie record. He lost the Calder Trophy for top NHL Rookie to this guy though.

2007-2008: Paul continued his torrid pace, accumulating 71 points in 66 games. He was also selected to play in the 2008 All Star Game, but once he found out it was being held in Atlanta, he opted to have his appendix removed instead. Because having your appendix removed is more enjoyable than playing hockey in Atlanta.

2008-2009: Mr. Stastny was signed to a nice new contract for $33 million dollars over 5 years. He wound up having a cap hit of $6.6 million per year. Which totally hasn’t effected how Colorado “fans” view him. I put fans in quotations there and it's not because I don' think they’re fans, I just don’t think they exist.

Hey, that looks just like my bathroom

2009-2010: Paul played himself onto the US Olympic team, where he came preeeeettty close to an Olympic Gold. The Avalanche also made the playoffs, gave the Sharks a scare, but eventually bowed out in 6 games.

2010-2011: Paul finally got to make an All Star Game appearance, mainly because this time it was in hockey hotbed Raleigh North Carolina, but also because really, who else were fans going to vote for on the Avalanche. Whoops, I said fans again. The 2011 All Star is notable for one reason only, we witnessed the birth of the Guardian Project. Which was just terrible.

Yeah, that's just Dr. Freeze

2011-2012: Stastny struggled as he saw his role shift from offensive focus, to more of a defensive focus. Despite doing a pretty good jobin the 2nd/3rd line centre role, Stastny began to be vilified by local media and the trade rumours began.

It gives you help on the wiiiiiiiings

2012-2013: Paul played for EHC Munchen of the German Hockey League during the lockout, again shunning Slovakia. When what can only be described as a saga begun surrounding Ryan O’Reilly’s future with the Avalanche, it appeared that Stastny would have an opportunity to excel in a more offensive role. That didn’t happen, as Stastny finished with the lowest offensive pace of his career.

"Why don't you dance anymore, Paul?"

"Bernie please, you're a dog, it's weird that you can talk."

The future is a scary place for Paul Stastny. Rumours continue that he will be traded, but it is just as likely that he will finish this year with Colorado and seek greener pastures as a UFA next summer. It would mean leaving behind the city of Denver, a place he has lived for almost 10 years. But, of course we all know what will happen to Stastny, he will betraded to the Leafs for Dion Phaneuf, because of course, and because Dave Nonis is a terrible GM.

Please come back tomorrow as I focus on the Columbus Blue Jackets. Oh man, I’m gonna have to talk about R.J. Umberger aren’t I? Crud.