Saving Face: Columbus Blue Jackets

We all have players on our favourite team that we value, ones that we wouldn't give up for anything. But they didn't all start out that way, in fact many "Franchise" players weren't even drafted by the team that now finds them so valuable. Some are on their second team, some are on their fourth, but all of them have become extremely valuable hockey players. This series is intended to allow us to look closely at these so called "Faces of the Franchise" because sometimes stars are easy to see, sometimes it takes years to find diamonds in the rough, and sometimes you don't know what you got till it's gone.

Richard Allen “R.J.” Umberger Jr. – Columbus Blue Jackets

Is this the Dunk Tank?

Welp, that’s a dumb name.

I wish I could be writing about Rick Nash, but the Blue Jackets traded him away to the New York Rangers for two players who are always injured (maybe dead? Zombies are accident prone) and a prospect who really really hates Calgary. So I have to write about RJ Hamburger.

Umberger was actually drafted by the Vancouver Canucks, but after failing to agree on a contract with then GM Brian Burke (what’s this? Brian Burke being stubborn about contracts?) RJ sat out the ENTIRE 2003-2004 NHL hockey season. Which is dumb, because apparently the two sides were just $100,000 dollars apart and you know what is more expensive than losing $100,000 dollars? Losing an entire season’s worth of salary. RJ was then traded to the New York Rangers for Martin Rucinsky, THEN refused to sign with the Rangers, and finally signed with the Philadelphia Flyers in June of 2004.  He played 3 seasons with the Flyers and was then traded to Columbus for a couple of draft picks. I know it seems like Umberger is basically the opposite of a face of the franchise considering he was owned by 4 teams in 4 years but bear with me here. Plus, who else on Columbus is there to talk about.

Let’s look at the STATS!

RJ's bobblehead's head is fused to its body because RJ

 would never nod in agreement to anything.

2004-2005: Umberger produced 65 points in 80 games for the Flyers minor league affiliate, the Philadelphia Phantoms, and won a Calder Cup. Which is named after this guy, wait, scratch that, this guy.

2005-2006: RJ was called up to the Flyers after putting up 10 points in 8 games with the Phantoms. And went on to score 20 goals and 38 points in 73 games.

I promise you that's RJ Umberger

2006-2007: Umberger struggles under his new 2 year contract, producing only 28 points in 81 games, but it could have been worse, he almost died. I’m actually pretty sure a ghost has entered his body and now controls him. Have mercy on me, O Hanaka of the Toilet!

2007-2008: RJ bounces back well, posting 50 points in 74 games and is rewarded with being dealt for to Columbus for their 1^st and 3^rd round picks in the 2008 NHL Entry Draft. Hope you like domesticated tomatoes RJ!

Yes, let the hate flow through you

2008-2009: The highest goal total of his career (26) helps RJ and the Blue Jackets to their first and only playoff appearance. It doesn’t end well for RJ. That smacked the ghost right out of him. Goodbye, Hanako, hello Banquo (Out, Damn’d Spot!). Now I know why they call RJ a “possession” player.

2009-2010: RJ continues being just a great guy, a-plus human being, mocking the Capitals and the Eastern Conference in general following a bad loss to the Caps. Hey at least he’s probably nice and warm from all the bridges he’s burned.

What kind of monster would hug Brett Lebda?

2010-2011: Umberger puts up 57 points in 82 games and continues his harassment of the world, complaining about St Louis playersplaying soccer near the Blue Jackets’ dressing room (Get Off My Lawn!) and being pretty negative about the direction Columbus is headed.

2011-2012: Umberger signs a new contract where his cap hit is 4.6 million for 5 years. The guy is basically guaranteed to put up 20 goals and 50 points but lets look at other players with the same cap hit. David Backes, Max Pacioretty, Andrew Ladd, Teddy Purcell. And most of them got their contract without complaining about how much their team sucked.

Coach says I don't gotta wear a helmet up here, heh

2012-2013: RJ volunteers as an assistant coach at his former University OSU. “They can relate because I am a player”, that’s beautiful RJ, very intuitive. When hockey resumes he joins a Blue Jackets team that seems to find new life under new GM Jarmo Kekalainen, but Umberger produces just 8 goals in 48 games.

Boy the sun is bright!

Well this was fun. The 2013-2014 season will be a very interesting season for the Columbus Blue Jackets as they try and prove that their quasi success of last season wasn’t just a flash in the pan. However, if Columbus finds itself struggling early, R.J. Umberger could find himself traded. In all likelihood it'll be to the Rangers or the Flyers, who seem to think that Columbus is the only other team that exists.

Come on back tomorrow as we discuss the Dallas Stars and their famous Benn Brothers! Now featuring Tyler Seguin, the Garbage King.