Saving Face: Boston Bruins

We all have players on our favourite team that we value, ones that we wouldn't give up for anything. But they didn't all start out that way, in fact many "Franchise" players weren't even drafted by the team that now finds them so valuable. Some are on their second team, some are on their fourth, but all of them have become extremely valuable hockey players. This series is intended to allow us to look closely at these so called "Faces of the Franchise" because sometimes stars are easy to see, sometimes it takes years to find diamonds in the rough, and sometimes you don't know what you got till it's gone.


Today it's the Boston Bruins. Some of you asked for this:

But I went with this:

...oh the glory, legend has it he grew 3 sizes that day.

Boston Bruins - Zdeno Chara

Half Man, Half Animal and Half Rübenzahl. and no I did not finish Math 11 Essentials. He has become quite the legendary figure, stomping around the Bruins' blue line like one of the bad guys from THE BEST SHOW EVER! However, some people don't know that he has quite humble origins, some might even say the humblest....

Yes he was an Islander draft pick, but he is now the face of the Bruins' franchise, and the body...

Something tells me Islander draft picks that are successful somewhere else is gonna come up a lot in this blog....

That's about enough periods for now....

Future watch indeed! Let's get started.

1997-98: Zdeno plays 25 games and registers 1 point. TOTAL BUST shouts Mike Milbury. However, he does spend one of those games contributing to one of the best fighting montages of all time!

1998-99: Splitting time between the AHL and the NHL, the hulking Czech struggles to adapt, playing in 59 games and registering 8 points. Mike Milbury has to be physically restrained from trading Chara on the spot, stating "Don't you understand that Jason Doig is available!?"

1999-2000: Another mediocre season for Chara, possible because his hands are so far away from his brain. He registers 11 points and is a MINUS 27!!! in just 65 games. At this point even Milbury is starting to make a lot of sense.

2000-01: Back to back MINUS 27!!!! seasons for Chara, but this time he increases his penalty minutes by 100 to reach 157 for the year. Despite playing a full season for the first time he actually registers 2 less points than the previous season, this time settling for 9. Mike Milbury breaks free of the dungeons of Nassau Coliseum and trades Chara to the Senators, which was either a really good trade or a really bad trade, I can't remember. I imagine the phone call went something like this:

MILBURY: "Hey, sup' MJ, you mind if I call you MJ? I'm gonna call you MJ. You still got that Yashin guy? He's pretty good right? Wanna trade him for this giant I found? I'm serious, swear to GAHD this guys is freakin' huge! I'll throw in the second pick, you could get that Spezza kid, I mean if you want to. I hear he's a total BUST. So what do you say?"

MARSHALL JOHNSTON(Ottawa's GM at the time): ".......are you serious?"

MILBURY: "Don't waste my freakin' time here MJ. It's a done deal. You think that Yashin guy will like it if I lowball him for 87.5 million dollars over 10 years? Russians are suckers anyways, Goalies are where it's at!"

(Milbury has a wicked bad Boston accent in my mind)

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIM!

2001-02: Freed from the cesspit of New York, Chara flourishes in Ottawa. He finished with 10 goals, 23 points and a whopping +30, meaning that his improvement from last year is +57 which proves that, yes the Islanders do suck

2002-03: Chara improves again, making the All-Star but losing hardest shot to Al MacInnis, who may or may not be a high-powered hockey playing robot from the future.

2003-04: Chara really breaks out, registering 41 points and is nominated for the Norris Trophy for best defensemen but loses to Scott Niedermayer, whose beard accepts the prize shouting "Stay off my lawn ya damn kids!" Also, Chara does this, which is hilarious.

2004-05: Lockout baby! Chara spends his time playing for Farjestad of the SEL and on weekends, uses his body as a bridge to Denmark.

2005-06: Chara posts career highs in Goals and Points but chooses not to resign with Ottawa in the off-season, probably because its safety is compromised due to falling ice.

Mini-Me, you complete me.

2006-07: Having to watch Ottawa go all the way to Cup Finals without him has a negative effect on Chara. He equals his career high for Points but his Plus/Minus dips way back down to -21. His plus/minus fluctuations are crazier than how I choose to play Roller Coaster Tycoon.

2007-08: This is a good year for Chara as he records a point total that remains unbeaten to this day. 51 points and 17 goals earns him a trip to the All-Star and just about nothing else as the Bruins lose in the first round of the playoffs to the Canadiens, whose fans probably reacted maturely, as they always do.

2008-09: Bored, Chara challenges everyone on Earth to a Slapshot Competition. Mike Komisarek is never the same... Oh and he found time to do this.

2009-2010: Another steady season for Chara who finishes with 7 goals and a respectable 44 points. In other words, he isn't Rodney Dangerfield.

2010-2011: Big year for Big Zeezy, he gets a hat trick and mocks his hero. He almost kills a guy, intentional or not. And he wins the Stanley Cup as a member of the Boston Bruins, which leads to this and this and this.

Zdeno was a extremely big fish in an extremely toxic pond in New York, and grew a bit too big for his britches causing him to fly the coop in Ottawa. But he settled nicely in Boston, becoming the noticeable, frightening, face of the Boston Bruins, and as Captain I assume he is now holding the Stanley Cup high above his head, presumably bumping it into all kinds of space stuff, mainly satellites. Cheers to him and to the Boston Bruins, who probably aren't over-celebrating.

Tune in Monday when we move on to the Buffalo Sabres. Wondering who we'll pick? I got one conjuction and two nouns for ya: IT'S MILLER TIME!!!!!! 

Saving Face: Anaheim Ducks

We all have players on our favourite team that we value, ones that we wouldn't give up for anything. But they didn't all start out that way, in fact many "Franchise" players weren't even drafted by the team that now finds them so valuable. Some are on their second team, some are on their fourth, but all of them have become extreme valuable hockey players. This series is intended to allow us to look closely at these so called "Faces of the Franchise" because sometimes stars are easy to see, sometimes it takes years to find diamonds in the rough, and sometimes you don't know what you got till it's gone.


First Up: Teemu Selanne-Anaheim Ducks

I know what you're saying; Corey Perry won the Hart last year! But the fact is when you think about the Anaheim Ducks, this is the name that jumps up at you. He is, as the French say "Poignant!". So let's take a look at how this all came to be.


Young Teemu was drafted 10th overall by the Winnipeg Jets in the 1988 Entry draft, sandwiched between two eventual Hall-of-Famers, Rod Brind'Amour and some dude named Chris Govedaris. He then spent the next 4 years playing for Jokerit Helsinki of the Finnish SM-liiga. Then he went crazy.

1992-93: Teemu sets the NHL records for Goals by a Rookie(76) and Points by a Rookie(132) and most importantly, shows the world how much he wants to shoot Ducks. Can you believe that Teemu wasn't able to wear #8 because RANDY FREAKING CARLYLE WAS WEARING IT!? By season`s end, Teemu has won the Calder for best Rookie and was named to the All-Rookie Team and the First All-Star Team.


1993-94: Teemu BREAKS. He tears his Achilles tendon and only plays 51 games. The Jets lose to Vancouver in the Playoff Quarterfinals and begin their move south. So really, it's all Vancouver's fault.


1994-95: Teemu returns to the Finnish team Jokerit to ride out the NHL lockout. He plays with fellow Finn Jari Kurri and Jokerit wins some crazy trophy called "The European Cup"


1995-96: The Jets, known for their extremely competent management team, trade Teemu for the ridiculously named Oleg Tverdovsky, Chad Kroeger(now lead singer of Nickelback) and, yes, a bag of pucks. Making him the first player to be traded for a bag of pucks.

1996-97: Enraged, Teemu goes nuts, scoring 51 goals en route to a 107 point season. He is again named to the First All-Star Team. Also Disney contacts him, asking if they could produce a TV series based on his adventures.


1997-98: Teemu achieves another 50-goal season, this time with 52 and travels with the Finnish Olympic team to Nagano where he receives a Bronze metal. Teemu also attends the All-Star Game, where he scores a hat trick and is named MVP, which I think stands for Most Valuable Puck-Guy? Nope? OK I may be wrong.


1998-99: They create a new award for Teemu, but they name it after some french dude by accident. Teemu becomes the first winner of the Rocket Richard Trophy for most goals with 47.


1999-2000: Teemu under-performs and finishes the season with only 85 points. Many speculate he was distracted by living up to his "Finnish Flash" nickname all season and spent too much time in court and writing apology letters.


2000-01: The Ducks get all high and Mighty and throw Teemu to the Sharks.

2001-02: Teemu continues to under-perform despite playing all 82 games of the season. Possibly because his feelings are hurt, most likely because the San Jose Sharks are bad.


2002-03: Ends in disappointment again as Teemu scores only 28 goals and finishes with 64 points as the Sharks fail to make the playoffs, but we all know the Sharks so maybe that was a good thing?

2003-04: Confused about the term Mile High City Teemu signs with the Avalanche. But instead of getting nice and baked, his body just fails to attain enough oxygen and he produces the lowest PPG total of his career.


2004-05: Somebody pissed in the Owners' cereal. The 2004-05 lockout shuts down the NHL for a season. Teemu uses the time off to rehabilitate his knee and signs a contract with Jokerit, even though he never plays a game with them. It's all about money for Teemu.

2005-06: Glorious, Glorious Rebirth! In his first season back with Anaheim, where he signed as a Free-Agent, he records 40 goals and 90 points. The organization decides to honour him by showing him how small he is! AND WHAT A BIG HEAD!!?? He also wins a Silver Medal with the Finnish Olympic team. There is a revival in his ``Finnish Flash`` as he spends the off-season touring saunas in his homeland wearing on the medal.


2006-07: Teemu proves that last year wasn't a fluke. This is a big one for Teemu, he scores his 500th goal, his 600th point as a Duck and plays in his 1000th game. He racks up 48 goals en route to a Stanley Cup with Anaheim. Which is good for Anaheim because they've been waiting so long for this... Oh yeah did I mention that scored a hat trick for his friend that was dying of cancer? Yeah, he just does that kind of stuff on the reg'

2007-08: Teemu breaks Kariya's record of Most Points as a Duck. TEEMU SMASH!!


2008-09: Teemu continues to set records, for most hat tricks as a Duck and passes Guy TheFlower on the Career Goals list. Then, convinced no one can stop him but himself, he uses his own skate to sever his thigh muscle.


2009-10: Teemu announces that this will be his last season, stating "a man my age does not belong in a league like the NHL" and then he says " I AM NO MAN! I AM A GOD!" I think. Anyways, he passes Jari Kurri on the Most Goals by a Finn list. "How does that taste Jari! Does it taste like CURRY!"


2010-11: Teemu announces that, syke, he totally isn`t gonna retire. He proceeds to prove that his is better than 99% of the rest of the NHL and finishes 8th in league scoring. He also scores 6 goals in 6 games as the Ducks fall to the perverse Predators.


2011-12: Teemu fools everyone again and announces that he`s gonna give it "the ole college try" and comes back for one more year. But what is in store for him: he could pass Luc Robitaille(668) or Mario Lemieux (690) on the Most Career Goals list, he could pass Jari Kurri(1398) on the Most Career Points list and if he plays every game he could pass Adam Oates on the Most Games played list.

Teemu Selanne is a player that has been given up on several times over the course of his career. The Jets and the Ducks traded him away, The Sharks and the Avalanche decided not to re-sign him. And yet he continues to redefine the effectiveness of an older player. He is The Best Finnish player ever, and is one of the best Europeans to play the game. He is used primarily on the power-play now and continues to demonstrate his lethal shot and his excellent vision. He is the face of the Anaheim Ducks and they couldn`t ask for someone better, I mean, the guy won Sexiest Man in Finland. He races in his free time under the name Tommy Freakin`Lighting (I added the Freakin`) and he has a twin brother named Paavo, so, yeah, that`s pretty cool.....
Teemu is an excellent example that you should never give up on a player with character, just ask Zdeno Chara, who we will feature on the next Saving Face....... aw man, I didn`t even make one JOKERIT joke.