Jonathan MF Toews Y'all - Chicago Blackhawks
Jonathan Toews, pronounced "toes", has only been in the NHL for four seasons and in that time he's been nominated for a Calder, become Captain of his team, won an Olympic Gold medal and won a Stanley Cup. That means he averages at least one major accomplishment per season, so look for him for the Vezina this year, and if he does, expect him to look less like a garbage-man than this guy. But it wasn't all sunshine and daisies for "Tazer", or actually, it kinda was. Considering his lack of a long term NHL career, we're gonna start a little earlier than usual.
2003-04: Jonathan Toews is selected first overall by the Tri-City Americans in the WHL Bantam Draft, but amazingly he chooses to play collegiate hockey instead. Pfft "college boy"
2004-05: Toews earns 39 points as a freshman. Man all I earned as a freshmen was the "freshmen fifty" :( . Toews also helps North Dakota University win the Broad Moor Cup. Ha Ha, place-names are fun.
2005-06: Toews guides North Dakota past Holy Cross and into the Frozen Four a la Dante's Inferno. He also joins Canada at the World Junior Championships and is very confused when they hand him a gun.
2006-07: Toews is drafted by the Chicago Blackhawks, the Grand Forks Herald claims he goes number 3, which sounds gross. He also admits he's a junkie. Toews again joins Canada at the WJC, and when the Semi-Finals goes to a shootout, he shoots three times. He scores all three times, unlike Peter Mueller.
2007-08: Toews graduates from University, actually not really, I just like that song. He forgoes the last two years of his degree and joins the Blackhawks in the NHL. He scores his first NHL goal on his first NHL shot in his first NHL game, and together with Patrick Kane, he of the baby-body, they bring back some win to the Windy City. Toews despite leading NHL rookies in scoring, he loses the Calder Trophy, Kane vows it is "the last time someone beats me in scoring"
2008-09: Toews is named Captain of the Blackhawks, after the previous Captain, Martin Lapointe, is traded to Ottawa for a sixth round pick, Crazy right? At 20, he is the third youngest Captain in history. you know what I was doing when I was twenty? A whole lot of this. He racks up 69 (heh) points on the season and just amazes people in general. And some grunt in satisfaction and others speak in a weirdly grunty voice.
2009-10: This year is big for Toews, maybe even bigger than last year. He makes the Canadian Olympic team and wins a gold medal thanks to Hockey Jesus. He almost dies, but he gets his revenge. During the playoffs, things get a little crazy in Chicago. Toews wins Conn Smythe Trophy as the Blackhawks take home the Stanley Cup. Manitoba is so gosh darned excited for him that they name a lake after him. Presumably the lake is in the shape of his head.
2010-11: The real highlight of his career, Toews is named the Cover Athlete of EA's NHL 11, leading to a stream of promotional videos, all of which have funny in the title for some reason. Toews puts up 76 points for the season, the most in his career, even though all his little buddies are traded away. In the playoffs, the Canucks get their revenge.
Who knows what the future holds for Toews. He's still only 23 years old and he's an integral part of the Chicago Blackhawks so if his luck holds out he'll last one, maybe two more summers before the trade him away for cap reasons. Despite his serious demeanour, he still knows how to cut loose and have fun, like taking his "cousin" to a baseball game. And as long as he never asks Patrick Kane for that money he owes him he'll be OK. He should probably take it a little easier on the kids though. But that's just my opinion.
Stay tuned tomorrow when we showcase Colorado's Face of the Franchise Joe Sakic! What was that? shoot, I guess we'll just do Chris Stewart then. What? OK well how about John-Michael Liles? No? OK, well we'll find someone. Until then.
